19 minutes ago   •   8 notes


hot phlebotomist flirting w me by telling me about her veterinary care studies and i shyly told her that i once had a job doing animal research

1 hour ago   •   2,589 notes   •   VIA earendils   •   SOURCE fannyann


i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining 

1 hour ago   •   21,278 notes   •   VIA kiransingh   •   SOURCE crouchingtigerhiddendragqueen
3 hours ago   •   426,537 notes   •   VIA tcazz   •   SOURCE luciid-dr3ams

this is important to me


this is important to me

11 hours ago   •   183,634 notes   •   VIA alltheladiesyouhate   •   SOURCE pureblood-
1,018,357 plays
11 hours ago   •   13 notes   •   VIA andromedalogic   •   SOURCE andromedalogic


my religion is all-purpose antibacterial cleaner

11 hours ago   •   2 notes

if i go to bed RIGHT NOW i can still get six hours of sleep

14 hours ago   •   28,087 notes   •   VIA alltheladiesyouhate   •   SOURCE nemesismess


if you have school tomorrow


15 hours ago   •   27 notes   •   VIA themalachimeye   •   SOURCE tacticalnymphomania


Fun things to ask your drunk friends!

  1. Which god would you let do you in the butt?
  2. Which god would you peg, non-sex specific?
16 hours ago   •   18 notes

if you black out upon orgasm please see a physician bc that speaks to troubling blood pressure issues

18 hours ago   •   5 notes
yeahhhh well im a) hungry and b) nothing if not self aware, so

yeahhhh well im a) hungry and b) nothing if not self aware, so

18 hours ago   •   2 notes

immediately cosmically punished HATCHACHA

18 hours ago   •   9 notes

jean valjeaning some veggies from this community garden

18 hours ago   •   2 notes

he’s gonna do it he’s gonna have to go through with it because he’s a dumbfuck who makes impossible promises and is too much of a pussy to be like “actually nnnno tho” IM

our jaeger will be called “earnest regret”